I've been rocking a deep side part lately. It's to cover up a cow lick, and I've been kind of like, "damn, how low can this go?" and lamenting that I'm not like the girls who can have a middle part. Last week, I was looking for music videos when I saw the girl from Walk Off the Earth rocking one as well. Her part seems to be getting lower and lower too with the years, and I thought, well if she's cool with hers, then I'm cool with mine. This last week, I've been super proud of it.
I noticed when I go to my new gym, they take my key chain and swipe the barcode off the GoodLife Fitness tag, and simultaneously look at a screen very intently. It's probably to check that I'm not borrowing my friend's gym pass, so I'm assuming there's a description of me. I hope it says,
Beautiful curvy caucasian woman
Deep Side Part
Not that a deep side part is anything to really be emabarassed about, it was just something about me that I hadn't "owned" yet. At school, a couple grade 8 girls were bemoaning how high the standards are that they now have to meet in fashion, being adolescents. "I hate it", said one girl, "when the boys complain about panty lines." Whoa, I had to give my head a shake and try to imagine how 13-year old boys have a milligram of prerogative taking offence to girls' pantylines, and I was all mother bearish and was like, "If you have a pantyline, you OWN it."
I mean, first of all, you do want to make sure you don't have a pantyline before you leave the house, but if you're in grade 8 and you're still figuring out the whole thong thing- that takes time to get used to, and there is no rush and people can just BACK OFF. I mean, in your thirties, you don't give a fuck anymore and you're like, "Hey look! I have a pantyline! Where should I go out to dinner with this thing?" But if you're in grade 8 and you find yourself in public in some skinny tight pants with a panty line, and this is an emergency, here are the steps to owning it.
1. Notice that people are noticing/pointing/talking
2. Be all embarassed. Feel the heat in your face, your hands, notice you're breaking out in a sweat, notice all the physiological reactions. Feel them. Breathe. Keep breathing.
3. Make sure you're still breathing. Send the breath all the way down to your toes. Relax the arches of your feet. Relax your scalp and everything in between; your breath scanning your body for tenseness.
4. Check your posture- make sure there is still space between each disc. If not, send some breath to make some space between each disc. This is basically you standing tall, but you can't force it- it has to come from awareness of and "being with" your inner shrinking.
5. Say "Damn right I have a pantyline" or just keep walking tall/doing whatever you were doing. Now that your breathing is getting back to normal, your face won't be as red, or if it is, you'll "be with" the redness and you won't look as awkward. You don't want to fake owning it, because that can come off as brash (although in the heat of the moment, if that's what you got, go with that). The best thing you can do is to be with your body in all its embarassment and have compassion on yourself. When you come home to yourself when the physiological alarm bells are going off, you stand a much better chance of staying in flow (ie, staying cool) than reacting to the teasing and looking even more awkward.