Daniel Goleman

Friends don't let friends stay in one intelligence centre (unless they insist?)

I was looking at a car the other day, and some friends met me at the lot. They arrived just in time for the test drive, so the sales guy was like, "are you guys coming along?"  My one friend, an intellectual type 5, started to decline, "oh I'm okay, I don't need to come...." I started to see what was happening, and I said, "Just get in the car."  I said to the sales guy, "He's coming."  And he got in the car without complaint. It was a Honda Civic, so it was a good ride.

Type 5's are head types, which means they "experience" life by observing it from the sidelines and processing it intellectually (hoping to someday have enough knowledge to be prepared enough to live), so if we'd gone without him and told him about the ride after, he'd be able to feel like he was totally there, because he got the "explanation" with all the attendant information. Information processing is their way of connecting to reality, or Source.

Which is an unconscious cop-out to living life in the body- an absolutely addictive and succulent ego lie- but a lie nonetheless.  When you think about it, there is no real substitute for in-the-body experience- our heart can't conjure up experience if there's nothing to connect to, and our mind can't conjure up experience if there's nothing solid to reason with.  If the body- or one of the other centres- isn't involved in a present-moment experience, we're in dangerous territory of dealing with fantasies, abuse, excessive fear or worry, hedonism, or other fancy curlicues of the ego. 

Ancient Egypt knew about the three intelligence centres too.  That will be the topic of an upcoming post.   Image from sofiatopia.org. 

Ancient Egypt knew about the three intelligence centres too.  That will be the topic of an upcoming post.  Image from sofiatopia.org. 

We have three intelligence centres: the head, the heart, and the gut. Each of us relies primarily on one centre, partially rely on the second, and needs major intention and attention cultivating the third one. When all three are in balance, we can live a full life of knowing, loving, and action. Of course, the West has deified the head, and that's why so much stock was put in IQ tests when they were first invented. Now thanks to Daniel Goleman, we know about emotional intelligence (EQ), and lately I saw in a newsletter someone was talking about body intelligence (BQ). We need all three for a full-bodied life, but our ego structure clings to one in particular as the only necessary way to knowing, and our life ends up rather flat as a result.

I caught my own lying-ass ego in the act today. Another friend across the country is on Maternity leave, and she must be bored because she texted me last night asking if I thought you could speak in French with a British accent. I said I didn't see why not. She texted back and asked me if I'd tried it. My first impulse was to say, "I don't need to- my thinking it is is enough to satisfy me", but I stopped myself.  I realized this was my head asserting itself as the reigning intelligence centre, and when I got in the car to go to lunch I tried singing the national anthem in French with a British accent. It didn't reveal much because I'm not super strong on accents, but it made me giggle anyway.

This may sound super trivial. Who cares that my friend may not have joined me on my test drive, or that I hadn't tried singing with a particular accent?  But consider how much our life experience can be incredibly one-sided when we spend all our lives neglecting our heart.  Or how much trouble would we be in to not pay any attention to what the head said.  And what a waste to spend your whole life not putting any of your perceptions into action (gut)!

Image from a  youtube video.   Click on link to see the girl being thrown in, although consider how watching it isn't like being there no matter how good your imagination is.

Image from a youtube video.  Click on link to see the girl being thrown in, although consider how watching it isn't like being there no matter how good your imagination is.

Hopefully this story will help clarify what I mean.  When I was on vacation in Mexico two Christmases ago, I was walking along the shore with Mr. M and his kids to go swimming, and contrary to how I would get in, he picked me up and threw me into the ocean.  Now if I had been there by myself, I would have totally been fine intellectualizing the experience- noticing the water, being like, "ok what a big ocean" and maybe forcing myself to stick my feet in the water for the full effect.  When I got thrown in, I was out of the comfort zone of my two other intelligence centres, and I suddenly didn't know what to do, say, or think- I was speechless.  Of course it ended up being fun- I just had to let go of the control and trust Mr. M, who is a body (gut) type, that I was physically going to be ok, and I didn't need to process it through my first two centres to have fun.  It haunts me to think of what my Mexican holiday would have been like had I not gotten in the water.

Making a Movie is Hard

I've been trying to come up with a concept for the homepage video for several months, and because I don't have a budget for it, I'm keeping it as simple as possible. I usually like creative challenges that I can sink my teeth into, but dammit, coming up with a concept that will keep viewers interested for one whole minute (and wanting more) is tough!

If you have a youtube channel, you probably have a Draw My Life video up.  Interestingly, a lot of people who have their own youtube channel are Self-Preservation/Sexual/Social or Sexual/Self-Preservation/Social.  At least that's what I've noticed so far!

This morning, I finally have a rough idea of what I'm going to do.  I've done one of those white board "Draw My Life" videos with a girl I tutor, which involved downloading Splice, and timing her narration to the video. It was fun- even though finicky-  and I'm going to tweak the concept for my webpage with pictures of philosophers and quotes from Daniel Goleman. Because who can resist Daniel Goleman quotes?