-spoiler warnings for last two paragraphs-
If you’re a Type Four, especially if you’re feeling stuck, I highly recommend watching the movie Girl Interrupted on Netflix. In it, Susanna (Wynona Rider) gets admitted to a mental hospital in the 1960’s after
trying to commit suicide and makes some friends on the inside, one of whom is fellow “inmate” Lisa (Angelina Jolie). Both Lisa and Susanna are Enneagram type Fours who are considered a danger to themselves and are forced to navigate an often uncaring and inhumane environment, although there are bright spots of caring interspersed throughout the film. They both struggle with self-hatred and introjection of the judgement of the world into them, leaving them with a crippling sense of being unloved.
Introjection is the defence mechanism of the type Four and it’s the opposite of projection (although we also project). I like how Enneagram teacher Bea Chestnut explains how Fours use introjection to stay safe from criticism:
[Introjection] is a psychological defence through which Fours internalize painful feelings as a way to protect themselves. As psychologist Nancy McWilliams explains, “Introjection is the process whereby what is outside is misunderstood as coming from inside.” It …allows an individual to identify with and “swallow” another person whole. When you “introject” someone, you take that person inside you, and whatever that person represents to you becomes part of your identity. … For instance, if someone important criticizes you and you introject that person, you now experience that person’s criticism as coming from inside yourself. And while you are still being criticized, at least you have a sense of control- the illusion that you can do something about it- since the critic is now a part of you.
When Susanna is admitted, Lisa has already been there for 8 years, and possibly a sizeable chunk of it is unnecessary time served. The question “Am I really crazy?” is weaved throughout the movie, and both Susanna and Lisa have to respond to their inner narratives at different points. Eventually, Susanna sees the stuckness of her own fourness in the more emotionally abused and abusive Lisa.
It is said that the life of a Four is a dress rehearsal for death, but when Susanna actually faces the ugly death of a friend, she sees the endgame of the “reverse raincoat” of a Four, and she makes a conscious decision to slowly start allowing herself out of her mental prison. She spends time wrestling with her difficult feelings in a notebook instead of reacting to them by reinforcing the introjected narrative. The dénouement shows her gaining a sense of confidence and satisfaction in completing creative projects. The movie is sensitive to the fact that life sometimes does actually imprison us- it didn’t cheapen the road to recovery by making it about positive thinking- but it did show that we have agency to feel our feelings, and doing the work of dialoguing with them is a way to skim the foam off the top of our minds and get to the solidity and competence underneath. It’s a way to feel the wobbliness of our feet as we try and balance ourselves on our medicine ball of self-confidence. It’s a way to sense into our unease around our “middle identity”- where we are neither above or below others. If you’re a Four trapped in your internal hell, this is a gentle, non-judgemental movie for you.