The Enneagram-teaching therapist Tom Condon uses movies to get his clients into certain spaces. I remember reading one of his posts where he had a client who needed to do something courageous- I forget what type he was, but he needed to do something that required toughness and strength of will, so Tom sent him home to watch a Clint Eastwood movie. Apparently it worked and it helped the client get into the right mindset and he did what he needed to do- I think he needed to go confront someone.
Working with the Enneagram shows us that we’re all out of touch with one of the brains- the head, heart or gut brain, depending on our Enneagram type. For those of us who are out of touch with our guts (where anger resides), we can dally in situations much longer than we should, and it’s easy once anger flashes, or if a boundary has only been crossed momentarily, to go back to sitting in comfort, and not take action.
While there are no good or bad feelings, they do have a use and should be used for what they were intended. Once we become aware of the feeling, we should do the work to process whatever it’s pointing to and move on. As a four, I struggle with keeping the flame of anger burning long enough to take action. I had a really great coach one time tell me that fours need to get their heart rate up on a regular basis to get in balance with the gut; however I’ve had a foot problem for the past year that prevents me from going to the gym, and it’s been tough finding good substitutes. I do stationary exercises, I go for walks as often as I can, but that’s not enough. One thing I do- also it’s not enough to effect actual change, but still- is watch Fairbairn Films. It’s two Australian brothers doing dumb things, or putting together short skits where they’re yelling at each other (they’re acting). They’re both gut-based types- types 1 and 8- and it’s pure loud gut energy- their videos have the feeling of being thrown together, one might even say sloppily, but they get the job done effectively. Like I said, it’s not enough to get me in balance with my heart and head brains overcompensating for my gut brain (that would require work!) but it’s a fun antidote. I’d even use it with a Type 1 who struggles with voicing their aggression or a Type 8 who struggles with being told they’re too aggressive. These videos provide a healthy container for mars (aggression / assertiveness / masculinity) in which both brothers are supported and loved.
I think about this quote a lot, but I forget the actual wording or who said it, “when we die, it’s only our actions that we take with us, or that define the value of our lives.” I don’t think that’s necessarily true for all types, but I feel it has special significance for fours, at least.
Here’s the Fairbairn brothers doing a skit where they’re trying to find something in their house to get their friend Darcy, a type nine, for his birthday.