I have a visceral reaction when therapists look at you with a knowing look and say, “Deep down, you know what the answer is.” Or “Deep down, you know what you’re supposed to do.” No we don’t. They tend not to be professional-professionals, moreso coaches, but whenever I hear someone try and pull that off, I bristle at how cheap it sounds. The reason we come to therapy is often because we don’t know something, and it feels like we’re being shamed into just pronouncing something- anything- to sound integrated. I’ve never seen it work, anyway. We need someone to walk us through the dark forest of unknowns to get to the buried gold: the answer hidden among our self-doubts, defence mechanisms, the things we’ve repressed, and the latent memories of what was important to our primary caregivers.
I’m saying this because discovering horary has been an incredible event this year for me- I’ve realized how many decisions have been left unmade in my life because I didn’t know how to make them. Should I do a masters? Should I leave my city? Should I work in this industry or that? Should I contact this person and ask for a favor or will they reject me? My past is littered with unmade decisions both big and small, and it’s only become clear in the last couple days as I’ve had so many questions spark to the surface like a fizzy drink that’s been shaken up, and I’m realizing how far back some of them go- I would’ve liked to know horary in my 20’s for career questions for sure. I’m casting so many charts this week and flipping around so much in the Frawley textbook, I just want to gobble up all this knowledge as fast as I can so I can finally get some guidance.